I have had an intense week. One of the things that is bugging me is an energy "lump" in my throat. I spent some time yesterday doing yoga, kundalini yoga for the 5th chakra which is the throat. As I was in the midst, there was a pose where she said you may experience the letting go of fear, just breath through that, we hold fear in our throat. So I did, in a mighty intense sort of way.
The thoughts that followed were tangled up in fear. The fear of actually saying yes to God and speaking what He needs me to speak to the world. I have always kind of hid behind someone. The fear of being wrong. The fear of making the wrong decision.
My voice has disappeared at some crucial times in the last 2 years, and this week I am wondering if that has to do with the fact that I am, in essence barking up the wrong tree. That God needs me to use my convicted voice. That the singing then will come into it's full potential.
All this to say, in the middle of the night, here is the epiphany I had. I need to dedicate more time to listening, discerning, writing and finding my voice. Find clarity about where this is all going.
Part of this process of discernment includes dedicating some time to writing this musical that has been on my heart for a while. This Tuesday I plan to be at Table Grace at 1pm for music with a mission, and 3pm for the 8th chapter of Love Wins. We are finished with our Max Lucado study on Thursdays, and the book Love Wins this week. I plan to take a break from music with a mission on Tuesdays for the month of July. I will return on Tuesdays in August. The discussion group will continue on Thursdays led by another participant. I will return to that on July 31st.